hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
