Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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