Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
