She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
