i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
