oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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