I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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