u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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