It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
