and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
