Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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