I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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