I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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