The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize