WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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