can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Everclear isn't food dammit
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
