I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I can text with my tongue
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
