Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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