My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
