I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
