If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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