It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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