OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I touched a dick in church today
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
