why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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