i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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