I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
