I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
