it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
