dude i'm inner monologue high
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
