Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize