is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
