We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
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