I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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