we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
