i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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