Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
