How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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