once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
