His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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