Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
