so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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