Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
