so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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