Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Small penises have feelings too.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize