I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize
