Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
