The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
