What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
smell my finger.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
