Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
