my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
