A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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