i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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