Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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