Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
