She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
