We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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