Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
