So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
