so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize