I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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