the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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