i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
