3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize