Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
