I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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