So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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