He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
