I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I need to calm my uterus...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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