just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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