Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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