i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
whose parrot is this?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Someone signed my nipple.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
