Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
