I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
